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Spherus: The Spherus Secret Files


"All the stuff that just wasn't good enough to be put in."

To put it simply, the Spherus Secret Files (or simply SpherusX) is a place where all the various things that didn't quite make it into the Spherus universe will be documented. Some because they were stupid, others because they were just far too silly. Whatever the reason, none of these things made the cut. And so, they shall rest here, never to be used in the game of Spherus! However, a few of them would actually have been pretty good, and the reason for their refusal is quite beyond me. Oh, note that pretty much everyone of these was my idea. Looking back, I can only say that I came up with some pretty crazy ideas.

The Merchandise

"All this stuff is worthless, so I'll let you have it at half price."

The Scimitar: That's right, a Great Scimitar exists in Spherus, but nowhere can you find a regular smaller one. Which is a pity, since scimitars are helluva cool. But still, it would have been easy to fit it in with the perfect combat statistics. To hit: 50 (equivalent to Long Blades) Damage: 1d12 (Lower minimum than Long Blades, same max) and a Speed of 5. Being basically equivalent, this weapon would have fit in quite well with all the rest. So, the reasons why it was refused...well, I still don't know. Note that this was one of my suggestions when the weapon list still needed bulking out.

Sloppy Blast: For those of you who have read the combination moves, you'll know that there are no combination moves for both Street Brawl and Psi Xaquel. Well, there could have been, if Sloppy Blast had been introduced! It would have been an awesome attack. Generally, it would be roughly equivalent in power and checks to Soul Blast, the Art and Psi combination. The only hitch: Sloppy Blast would take about 10 times the Psi Points. The summary for this move who read as follows: "The Warrior gathers all his energy and shoots it out in one sloppy blast, sending crackling power every which way and wasting much of his own strength." Thus is the street brawl sloppiness' strength! Yet again, for reasons unknown, this move was cut.

The Carrot Ship: Sadly, the mighty Carrot Ships of Chalchak were never able to roam the Space Armadas of Spherus. The idea behind these was that they could be built entirely out of food, and thus require little raw material to make. Which is why it could make Chalchak a super power indeed, it being the home of much food. Of course, that would be nothing compared to the Denchulli's armada. Wow, with this ship, Denchul might actually be decent. For obvious reasons, the Carrot Ships never made the high standard of Spherus acceptance. Oh, they can claim that there aren't any, but I stil think Chalchak is growing a whole FIELD of giant carrots to use for just such an end...

The Wooden Ships: Hmm, a slight theme seems to be developping here. Well, the Wooden Ships of Dortal were supposed to be the Ultimate in Barbarian technology. Finally, the Dortalian Barbarians could join the other races in the wonder of Space flight. These wooden ships were basically just hollowed logs which would be shot from Catapults in an effort to breach the atmosphere. Of course, they all either burned up in so doing or just didn't go high enough. The only real success of this venture was when Mr. T was visiting Dortal. A barbarian hiding in a tree threw a rock at him, and so, enraged, Mr. T picked up the entire tree and sent it space-high. That's how the whole barbarian space venture got started. Of course, since this entire part was slashed, none of this actually is true.

Similar Time Zones: Before I go into this one, it's important that you realise something. The planets of Spherus do not have orbits. It would be just too complicated making maps and such with orbits, so all the planets and the suns are stationary. The explanation is simply that the gods didn't want one of their planets to 'accidently' go into the sun. Nevertheless, each planet still has different time zones. Since the orbiting system had been simplified, why not just simplify the time zones as well? That was my suggestion, but since this is being written here, the idea was obviously refused. Despite being stationary, the planets still have very different time zones. This revolutionary idea was sadly never to be.

Potential Changes?

"I don't know why I'm making a quote when I have nothing to say.."

The following suggestions and changes haven't been refused yet, and indeed some have yet to be proposed. All the same, I'm skeptical that any one of them will be accepted. But the standards are high, eh? That's what I've always thought..

Instead of the Long Blade Beyonder weapon being the Judgement Blade, it would become the Big Banana.

When using the move 'Whirlwind blade' (weapon/psi combo) the warrior does not spin his weapon, but instead spins his jacket and launches it at his opponent. If he fails the check, the coat remains normal and does absolutely nothing.

A legitimate group of words in the Warchon language would be "Sishkabob wiener shnitzel". The meaning of this would of course remain unknown.

"I've got a tough choice here. Piledriver...or Universal Globe." -Lamayo '97

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SPHERUS is copyright Jeff and Jeremy Long. Anyone reproducing or borrowing these files without permission will be immediately destroyed by Mr. T's cabbage gun.